Tuesday, September 18, 2012


So, my lovely sweet daughter decided it would be fun to come down with a 102 fever. Why? I have no clue. She's three and refuses to wear blue jeans. No one understands her. The fever finally disappears after two days and then she breaks out in the mother load of hives. HIVES. I've never seen a hive in all my 32 years. Safe to say, I know what they look like now. I don't do hives. Just like I don't do fungal infections, pinworms (gag me), and lice. The girl had to go and make me a liar. Hives, of the unexplained variety. Doc said just to give benadryl. In the meantime my kid looked like she was mutating or played is some radioactive alien ooze. Shall we list the ailments of this summer courtesy of both my children? Oh why not, it will be FUN**:

Reaction from injections placed into my son's plantar warts that earned a trip to urgent care due to the random WTF is going on with your foot syndrome. Also, it was Sunday and the doctor's office was closed.

Daughter gets viral pneumonia that takes a month to go away.

Daughter gets a random UTI.

Daughter gets a weird and out of the blue fever.

Daughter gets covered with viral hives. And yes, the benadryl took care of the hives for the 6 hours the benadryl was effective. Then they reappeared again. Of course THEY did.

Due to the above reasons I will be more than happy to have someone whisk me away on a private jet to some lovely sandy beach location where gorgeous men served me fruity alcoholic beverages with those adorable little umbrellas in them. I'm not asking for much. Really.

Fine. At least send me a giant bottle of Calgon.***

** This post is brought to you by lots and lots of sarcasm.
*** Do they even make Calgon anymore?


  1. how about a giant bottle of calamine lotion and some orange juice? hmmmmm, I thought so.

  2. Oh my. Does she like chamomile tea? Its a great natural cure for allergies worked for my daughter when antihistamines did not. Just add a little honey, no milk and if the hives are bad you can dab the cooled tea bags on the itchy bits.