Tuesday, January 18, 2011

That time of year again

It's time for the dreaded once of year female check up. Just for this splendid occasion I have worn my Eeyore underwear. Totally appropriate. Right?!

Monday, January 10, 2011

I hate titling blog posts

Have you ever blown your nose so hard that you shot a booger across the room?

No? Huh.....(awkward silence). Me neither......

I also haven't shaved my legs in two weeks.

I bet at this point you are just stoked that I am blogging again. After all how could you live without this pertinent information?

It could have been worse. I could have said that I was caught masturbating. Now THAT would be embarrassing.  

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Gratuitous Picture

There are very few of you from my old blog that I haven't managed to find on Facebook. Therefore most of you have been blessed with being forced to see pictures of my adorable children. For those of you not so lucky, well I figured I force you to see them here.

Adorable? Yes. Pains in my butt? Yes. Please pay no attention to my horribly stained carpet. I on the other hand am quite thankful that my youngest is still dressed. And not flying around the house naked, pretending she is an airplane. Sigh.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Couponing as an extreme sport?!

Did anyone catch Extreme Couponing on TLC last night? Did it scare the shit out of you too? First, may I state that I applaud any person that can manage to get anything for free. Legally free that is. Stealing doesn't count. Unless we are talking cookies, but we already covered that yesterday. Extreme Couponing is where these people go to great lengths to get coupons and basically go shopping for free. Great idea huh?! Except that these people are buying things like 400 boxes of pasta, 500 candy bars and 762 toothbrushes. The bill before their coupons is something like $600-$1200 and they end up paying something like $20 when it's all said and done. Who the hell needs 400 boxes of pasta? Who the hell can eat 400 boxes of pasta in enough time before it becomes old stale pasta? And if it takes you more than 2 years to eat 500 full sized candy bars then you have more issues than your shopping addiction. Seriously, it was like Extreme Hoarding, Coupon Edition. This one woman actually had her hoard of free shit insured for $35K. What pissed me off (Yes, I was yelling at the tv. You have problem with that?) was that these people would never in their lifetime use everything they acquired. Never. And yet there are people out there where a bottle of shampoo and a toothbrush is considered a luxury. Never once did these coupon hoarders ever state that they donate what they get to the less fortunate. A safe house, homeless shelter or food gathers would shit a ton of bricks to get these items and give them to people who really need it. This is what totally disgusted me about this show. I could only watch maybe 10 minutes of it before I had to turn it off. I was afraid I might wake up the kids with all the obscenities I was yelling at these people. (What, me swear?! Never!)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

New Year's Resolutions


Are you a New Year Resolutions Maker? I try to, but usually fail by the next day. You know, I make a promise to myself that in the new year I am going to focus on taking better care of myself and lose weight. By January 2nd I can be found laying on the couch with a bag a chips or a handful of cookies. Or both. Don't give me that look. It's not my fault that my husband's lovely aunt is a master chef whose Christmas gift every year is a box of delightful cookie deliciousness. And I will be damned if my kids or hubby are going to eat my favorite cookies before I can eat a few. The ONLY logical choice is to eat them all. I mean, really, what else is a girl to do? Anywho, this year my goal is to grow as an artist and to really give it a go at creating and selling my stuff. I'm giving myself a good solid year to see if I can make something of myself. Hopefully a year from now I will be posting to all you wonderful people that things are going excellent and I made the best choice ever to focus on my art as a career.  If not, well then at least I have cookie awesomeness to wallow my pities in. Right? Silver lining?

What are your resolutions this year? And no, you can't have my damn cookies, so stop looking at me like that. Yeesh.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Hello? Is this thing turned on?

Well. Hi.

(crickets chirping)

I never really know how to start a blog post. Especially after I've ignored my blog for at least a year. It's time I get started again. To talk about my art and mt life trying to create art. You know, everything that drives me bat shit crazy. Recently I've decided that I need to start making my art one of my priorities in life. I'd love for it to become my career. That's not likely to happen for a long time. Those damn bills need to be paid. That and most artists don't become famous until they are dead. And let's be honest. I plan on annoying my husband for a very long time so that's just not an option. Recently, I opened back up my Etsy shop, Funklicious.  I have a lot of great ideas and things to create, so stop by often to see new items. I finally got my ass off the couch and learned how to use my sewing machine. I've only owned the thing for almost a year before I took it out of the damn box. Now I have my sights set on one of these beauties. It's currently out of stock and well, I can't afford it. But one day it will be mine (insert evil cackle here). (Cackle....what a great word.) I also want one of these storage thingies. Storage is the bane of my existence in my studio. I never have enough and it never seems to work the way I want it to. Anyone else out there addicted to storage units? What do you find works the best for tools and supplies?

Jinkies. That's about enough boring information for today. I have to go stop my daughter from pantsing herself. What is it about one year olds and trying to strip themselves constantly?