Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Teenagers and Halloween

I have a 16 year old stepson.

(and yes, I totally just heard all you parents of teenagers suck in your breath and mutter sympathetic words. I hear you. I now know why gerbils eat their young while they can.)

We will call my stepson Al. Al's not a bad kid by any stretch of the means. He's just a teenager, which makes him inherently a pain in my ass. Last night the hubs and I took the two younger kids trick-or-treating and left Al at home to pass out candy. This was probably a huge mistake on our part, but alas the 7 year old wanted mom & dad to go with him. We warned the teenager not to eat the whole bowl of candy while we were gone. When we returned home a good part of the candy was gone. In Al's defense we had quite a bit of kids out and about trick or treating. So later in the night, after the festivities had ended, I casually mentioned to Al that he might want to make sure and brush his teeth well.

Him: "Why do I have to brush my teeth well?"
Me: "Because of all the candy you ate."
Him: (sigh, eye roll) "It wasn't a lot. I only ate like 10 pieces." (sigh, snort, eye roll rolled so far I wondered if he rolled his eye balls around the whole perimeter of his head.)

*crickets chirping*

Me: (blank stare, while figuring out teenager candy math. 10 candy bars + 6 whoppers - 3 twizzlers he fed to the squirrels + 8 suckers= 10 pieces)

Do teenagers really think parents are that stupid? Wait. Don't answer that. Just lie to me and tell me it gets better.